“Doppelgangland”

This is a classic episode of BtVS and is also, for the most part, a stand alone episode. The only season arc things that happen in this episode are small moments between the Mayor and Faith. He gets her an apartment, she tries to treat him like a sugar daddy and he shoots her down, thereby starting their strange father-daughter relationship instead. The rest of the plot has nothing to do with the Mayor or with Faith. (Although, I would be curious to see Faith’s reaction to vamp Willow…)

Instead, this episode is about Willow. And why not? Xander got “The Zeppo” recently, it’s only fair that Willow gets her own episode – and there will even be two Willows in this one!

The episode starts with Willow feeling like “doormat person, homework girl” as she is forced by Principal Snyder to tutor Percy West (who thinks Willow will just do his work for him). She continues to feel this way as both Buffy and Xander refer to her as reliable. She wants to do something dangerous and unexpected. Enter Anya.

Yes, Anya from “The Wish” who is trying to get back to the wish dimension from that episode. If she can get back, she can get her necklace back and then go back to being a demon, rather than a human teenage girl. She asks Willow to help her with a spell, which of course goes awry. Enter vamp Willow from the wish dimension.

And now, shenanigans! Vamp Willow doesn’t like our world and upon entering the Bronze, likes it even less. She manages to turn the tables on Percy though, which results in him being scared of Willow and finally doing his own work (and presenting her with an apple – it’s a great moment at the end of the episode). In the process, Xander (who sadly for vamp Willow is not vamp Xander) and Buffy think that Willow’s been turned and go to tell Giles.

It’s actually pretty funny when Willow walks in on the three mourning her. And then Xander uses a cross. I mean, I get it, classic vampire lore… but Willow’s Jewish, a cross had no meaning to her in life, so why would it scare her now? Instead of digressing, I invite you to read my “Passions” blog where I talk about this from my soap box. Before I end this topic, I will say that Willow also uses a cross on vamp Willow later in the episode. Ugh. (I forgive Wesley for using a cross because he might not realize that Willow is Jewish yet.)

Back at the Bronze, vamp Willow is “bored now” and ends up killing a girl named Sandy. The only reason I mention this is that the Sandy actress played Emma on several episodes of Dawson’s Creek during its final season. Vamp Willow also teams up with Anya (since they both want to get back to the other dimension) and several vampires. This Willow is exacting and cold, as we see when she gets said vampires on her side. “Who do you work for?,” she asks several times as she breaks their fingers, until they finally reply, “You.” Good strategy.

Also at the Bronze? Oz (and the rest of Dingoes Ate My Baby) and Angel, who don’t have many opportunities to hang out. But they do in this episode. They also think that Willow’s been turned, so Angel goes to tell Buffy and to get her help as there is clearly a vampire situation about to go down at the Bronze. When he finds Buffy, he also finds Willow and is confused, as one might be, and happy to find out that Willow has not been turned.

Hanging out at The Bronze

And then Vamp Willow walks in.

One great part of this episode is when Willow and vamp Willow are face to face. V.W. and Anya need Willow’s help with the spell, and V.W. wouldn’t mind turning Willow. This all prompts the “and I think I’m kinda gay” conversation that is a funny throw away line… or is it?

Okay, so I get that the writers don’t always have everything planned out seasons ahead, but sometimes they do. Seth Green left the show half way through season 4, in part because he felt that the writers didn’t know what to do with him anymore and that was leading to his character being somewhat out of, well, character. After a conversation with Joss Whedon, Oz was written out of the show. In the aftermath of that, Willow meets Tara and eventually starts a relationship with her, realizing that she’s gay. Part of me feels like if the plan at this stage was not to write Oz out of the show then there would be no reason to plan ahead for Willow to be gay, and yet, I wonder. Angel has a response to Willow’s comment where he starts to say that vampires are a reflection or enhanced version of their human selves, but stops after a look from Buffy tells him to.

So here we have a clue: the way Willow is as a human will be a little bit of a predictor of what she would be as a vampire. At this stage of the game, Willow is bad at being bad, as evidenced when she swaps places with her doppleganger, leaving V.W. in her classic fuzzy pink sweater, btw. However, anyone who’s watched through season 6, at least, knows that Willow can be very bad indeed. We also know, from “The Wish”, that vamp Willow and vamp Xander are a team, romantically involved, and that V.W. is clearly in charge of their relationship. Our Willow is really good at taking charge of a situation and we obviously know about her feelings for Xander. If Willow was turned into a vampire in the alternate dimension during the Harvest, which I think she would have been, she would not yet have realized she was gay, but her vamp self would still have acted on some of those impulses, making her vampire at least bisexual, which is what she seems based on the two episodes she appears in.

So, did Joss Whedon and company plan on making Willow gay all along? Okay, I don’t have an answer for that, but I suspect that, if nothing else, once they wrote it, they realized they had to do something with it. Or, maybe it was planned all along. No matter the answer, despite my love of Oz and sadness at his departure, I’m glad that Willow ended up being gay because of Tara. (It is also worth noting that the glimpses we see of Liam before he become Angelus and crazy Drusilla before she is turned are good predictors of the vampires they became. Even William had some Spike in him before he was turned.)

The other big thing this episode gives us is another chance for V.W. (you all got that this is short for vamp Willow by now I hope) to kill Cordelia. It’s pretty funny, especially since when Cordelia find her she’s been locked up. Cordy uses this as an opportunity to have girl talk with Willow after the whole cheating with Xander thing. Cordelia is totally right about this, by the way. The two of these girls had actually become friends, so Willow didn’t just betray Oz, she also betrayed Cordelia and it was time for them to have it out (I wonder if Cordy and real Willow ever do have this conversation now). Unfortunately for Cordelia, her timing is off and, as usual, she doesn’t really pay attention to other people and totally misses all signs that this is not her Willow. The only thing that prevents her from being eaten is Wesley showing up at the right time with a cross and V.W. deciding that they are not worth it. And then of course, these two think that Willow’s been turned – I wonder when they found out the truth. Was it the next day when Willow bounced into the library? Anyways, Wesley gets to actually be a hero in this episode, sort of – good for him.

Time for some girl talk

In the end, Giles and Willow are able to get V.W. back her dimension, just in time for her to be staked by Oz, as she was in “The Wish.” Anya gets nothing. Unless of course you count the fact that now the Scooby Gang knows who she really is. And that’s that.

This is a funny and very satisfying episode that is a break from the usual arc, but still fits in as it ties to a past episode and brings Anya into the fold for the first time (although she’s still a villain at this point).

Bored Now.

 

“The Zeppo”

This is one of my favorite episodes of the series.  It might even be my favorite episode of season 3.  Why?  Well, for starters it is Xander-centric, but it also turns the regular Buffy formula on its head by telling a B-story as the A-story and relegating the A-story to the B-story for the week.  It’s just a fun episode!

There are so many little things from this episode that I could talk about, like that fact that all television pastry boxes are pink for some reason.  Or the fact that I appreciate Willow’s marshmallow joke when the other characters don’t seem to.  Not to mention, who names their knife, “Katie”?  Who names a knife, period? And – wait, Sunnydale has gangs? And while I could go on to talk about these insignificant things a little longer – this episode has so much meat to it.  It’s different than “Helpless,” which was certainly a meaty episode, as well.  This one is so much lighter, despite the episode featuring yet another apocalypse.

Xander is threatened by “Katie”

Okay, I honestly don’t know where to start with this episode, so I guess I’ll throw a dart and land at… Xander and Cordelia.  Surprisingly, Cordelia is still talking to Xander, even after the whole cheating thing (although, Oz and Xander seem to be friends again and Oz forgave Willow and got back together with her, so this isn’t so far-fetched) – of course she’s mostly just taunting him which is classic Cordelia. However, her teasing strikes a particular chord in this episode.  She compares him to Jimmy Olsen, which is down on Xander’s level, he even made a joke about the same subject with Giles, who just didn’t get it (oh, if only Oz had been there).  When Cordelia says it though, it is suddenly an insult. She also says, “Can you say “expendable”?” – which I find particularly funny since she ended up being in a movie called The Expendables.  This all leads to Xander obsessing over being cool.  Here’s the thing though, although Cordy was being mean, when compared with Jack O’Toole’s threats moments earlier, one can see that at least Cordelia still cares.  Her taunting comes from a place of wanting to hurt Xander for what he did to her, sure, but re-watching this makes me certain that these two can be friends again (and they will be before she moves on to L.A. and the spin-off series).

It’s also fun to compare this scene at the beginning of the episode, with the scene at the end when Xander does find his cool.  He leaves Cordelia hanging, as he walks away with a big smile on his face.  What a great ending!  Xander really grows during this episode and it shows.

Okay, we have to talk about one more thing having to do with these two former love birds, and I know I’ve mentioned it before.  Xander loses his virginity in this episode, which I think is proof that Cordelia is a virgin.  I know, this shouldn’t matter, but it does because of certain events in Angel’s first season.  Xander may have been Cordelia’s first love.  She is never shown, before or after Xander, having another committed relationship on the series.  The one possible exception to this is Darryl, who we find out about in “Some Assembly Required.” She loved him, he treated her badly, then he died.  And then he became Frankenstein’s monster and tried to make her his bride.  He died while Cordelia was a high school freshman, when she was maybe 15 years old.  Now it’s completely possible that she lost her virginity to him, but if she did, it stands to reason that she would have had sex with Xander, too.  Likewise, if she had had sex with any of the other random guys she dated in season 1, there’s almost no good reason for her not to have also had sex with Xander.  Since they didn’t have sex, Cordelia must have lost her virginity to that guy on Angel who impregnated her with a demon baby.  Which again, means that Cordelia’s first time having sex got her pregnant!  Can you imagine – that must have been so traumatizing.  Yet, Angel, being a more grown-up show and making Cordelia seem more like a twenty-something than a 19-year-old (if not 18-year-old) glosses over her loss of virginity, which is a really big deal.  I understand that there wasn’t really room in that episode for this discussion, but at the same time – can you imagine?

Alright, I’m done, so back to the Xander portion of this conversation.  Yep, Xander manages to help Faith out of a jam, she has some energy she needs to get out and they have sex.  It’s actually kind of funny how one second, they’re shown in post-coital bliss with the cuddling and the next minute she’s kicking him out of her motel room without any emotion.  I wonder if Cordelia ever found out about this and what her reaction was.  We see Willow’s reaction in a couple of episodes, but never Cordelia’s.

So, jumping all over the place, I want to go back to talking about Xander’s search for how to be cool.  It reminds me of this episode of Beverly Hills 90201 when Valerie was going to be written up in some magazine for being cool and she kept asking about it (and therefore, being uncool).  Xander’s obsession with it is very similar.  The more you think about being cool and ask questions about how to be cool, the less cool you are apparently.  I mean, take Oz.  He has hardly anything to say on the matter and doesn’t even know that he is cool when Xander asks him about it.  And so Xander, in his quest to be cool, ends up looking for a thing – which ends up being a car (and some penis jokes).  And that car is what ends up getting him in trouble and eventually leads him to finding his cool – without the aid of a “thing.” But the car isn’t what makes him cool at all.

The other thing that leads Xander towards his strange night is the abandonment of his friends.  I mean, I get it, they want to keep him safe, but why now?  I mean it’s great that Faith is in the mix and working well with Buffy, but that doesn’t mean that Xander can’t be useful (in a non-snack capacity way). What his friends do to him in this episode is actually kind of mean. Also, Xander is actually pretty good at staying cool and collected in the face of danger. He doesn’t buckle under pressure. Sure, over the years he has his moments and sometimes runs away screaming (only in “Go Fish” though) or gets pummeled, but overall, he keeps his cool when it really counts. Sure, by not running away he is a liability as much as he is an asset, but what does Willow contribute?  Can’t she do her spells from a safer room/distance?  Xander could at least work to protect her during these tense moments. And honestly, his cool head in these matters is what allows him to save Faith.  He sees that she is in trouble and maneuvers the car just so, without missing a beat, to hit one of the demons and allow Faith a quick get-a-way.  Clearly, he is being underestimated in this episode by those who know him best. And, after this episode, without his friends ever finding out about his own adventures, he’s back in the mix without a question.  Weird, no?

After all is said and done, this episode is a zombie episode. I am not a zombie fan, but here they are used for comedy and are completely different from the zombies seen in “Dead Man’s Party” – thank goodness!  One of them is even played by Michael Cudlitz – one of those actors that you’ve definitely seen in at least one other thing between the 90s and now. The majority of the Xander-centric episode is played for laughs.  Sometimes it is in the physical humor (see Xander accidentally decapitate a zombie with a mailbox), and sometimes it is through the typical Xander method of talking.  For example, “Two guys wrasslin, but not in a gay way “– oh Xander.  I don’t think this would fly anymore, but it is amusing to hear Xander try to be cool and then have to backtrack and say too much.

• 

  MIchael Cudlitz on Buffy

• 

  Michael Cudlitz in real life
  

This is juxtaposed with the overly dramatic apocalypse scenes sprinkled throughout the episode. The most obvious example of this is, of course, the Buffy-Angel scene.  It seems pretty typical, but then once Xander interrupts we see how the over-dramatic can be played for laughs.  Especially since, as soon as Xander leaves, the romantic music swells up once again – right where it left off.

Imagine this with dramatic music swelling

Music actually plays a really important part in this episode.  As soon as Xander’s scenes get serious, there is no music.  The apocalypse battle has music and is very loud, but Xander’s scenes are quiet. This signals a change, both in tone and in Xander. The lack of music shows Xander’s inner-calm (or, cool, if you will) – the music stops, the rest is silence. It is in these moments that we see just how much Xander is worth.  After all, unbeknownst to his friends, he is the one saving those who save the world. If not for Xander (with an assist from werewolf Oz that he doesn’t know about), anyone in the high school would have been killed in an explosion.  Xander stops a bomb from going off and rescues his friends – and the world. No wonder he’s my favorite guy on this show!

I do wonder though why Jack isn’t a better fighter.  I mean, you’re telling me that he can’t take Xander? Or maybe, against regular threats, Xander can hold his own? Last season Xander almost got pummeled by Larry, but maybe he would have been okay without Buffy’s interference.  Or maybe he’s learned some fighting over the past 2 years. Or maybe Jack’s not as tough as he seems.

It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that Xander is cool and he gains some much-needed confidence through his own hero’s journey in this episode.  Also, Oz is strangely full the next day. 

“Helpless”

Buffy does not have good birthdays.  I mean, I get that the slayer doesn’t get a day off (although, with Faith around, why not?), but you can’t tell me that the world’s best secret superhero can’t have a nice quiet birthday at the very least.  But then, of course, where’s the drama in that?

This episode is pretty much about men trying to control Buffy while at the same time bringing up daddy issues.  Let’s start with the latter.

Hank Summers up until now has been a pretty good father for someone who lives an hour or so away.  He visits, Buffy spent a summer with him, and he genuinely seems concerned about her well-being.  The first time that his absence was odd was when Buffy runs away and he is nowhere to be found at the beginning of season 3.  That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care though.  Off camera it’s entirely possible that he and Joyce talked on the phone about Buffy while she was gone.  He may have even gone to Sunnydale for a few days.  Maybe Hank even talked to a bunch of Buffy’s former Los Angeles friends to see if they had heard from her.  We don’t know, but I’d like to think he was somewhat involved – even if we didn’t see it or hear about it.  And that brings us up to this episode where he cancels on Buffy on her birthday.  They had plans – and tickets – to go see an ice show and he flakes on her.  This is the first time that we start to see that Hank isn’t a great dad.  Maybe it was just easier for the writers to villainize him in order to help viewers forget his existence.  Maybe it was hard to schedule the actor to come back at any point in season 3.  My guess is that it was the former, which also allows for more drama. Besides, there is no doubt that Giles has become Buffy’s father figure, especially since “Band Candy” when he and Joyce, um, spent some quality time together.  So, having Hank Summers in the picture would just complicate that relationship and would make for some boring/non-existent drama.

• 

  Hank Summers last seen in season 2

• 

And that brings us to the other daddy issues that Buffy has in this episode with Giles.  So, first, Buffy’s actual dad cancels on her and then Giles, seeming very distant, is oblivious to all of Buffy’s hints that he should take her to the ice show.  Her purpose in asking him is that he is like a father to her, but Giles seems to be not paying attention.  The sad reality is that he is trying very hard to follow through with his duties as her Watcher and feels the need to make himself more distant and colder in order to protect himself, as he does see Buffy as a sort of daughter.  What results in this episode leads to the betrayal of two fathers.  The only thing that redeems him is his firing from the Watchers’ Council for disobedience.

Speaking of the Watchers’ Council… as we find out later in the series, this entire operation is a bunch of men using and controlling women to do their dirty work for them. On one hand, it’s very empowering that men in ancient times chose a woman to be the first slayer, but in order to do so, they had to first put her in chains.  That’s the irony of the slayer – this woman seemingly has all the power, but is always doing the bidding a man, her Watcher.  Now, of course we know that there are female Watchers, but at this point the only one we know of was evil (see “Revelations”), and that sends quite a message. Also, the majority of Watchers and members of the Council that we know about, from the beginning of the series through the end of season 3, are all men with that one evil exception.  Buffy’s 1^st Watcher was a man (both according to show and movie lore), as is her current Watcher (obviously).  The members of the Watchers’ Council that we meet in this episode are all men, as was Kendra’s Watcher.  I will admit to not remembering what Faith said about her Watcher back in Boston, so perhaps she had a female Watcher, but the fact that I don’t remember also says volumes about this issue.  And finally, the new Watcher we meet after the events of this episode is also, you guessed it – a man.

Now I don’t want you to think that I have a huge problem with this.  The Council is an ancient order (and a secret one at that) and probably only started bringing women aboard in more recent times.  Also, BtVS is from the 90s and while I’d love to say that the 90s were a wonderful time, clearly, we still had a lot to learn then, as we do now, about gender relations.  We’ve come a long way, but not far enough.  A few years ago, I watched a documentary about Anita Hill, who is a wonderfully nice and intelligent human being (yes, I met her and spoke with her back when I worked at the same university where she teaches, which also happens to be my alma mater).  I was shocked by exactly what went down between her and Clarence Thomas, as I was too young to know or understand the details of those hearings as they were happening.  What was even more shocking to me though, was that “pubic hair” was not a common thing to say aloud.  Not that I say this out loud on a regular basis, but it has definitely lost its shock value, in part because Anita Hill was forced to talk about it on Capitol Hill.  My point being, that a lot has changed since the 90s.  A lot changed in the 90s, and Buffy was a direct cause and effect of that.  So, having an almost all-male Watchers’ Council doesn’t bother me – what bothers me is the control they assert over their all female slayers.

In this episode, that control is deadly, mean, and just the worst.  And Giles, as an instrument of the Council, goes along with it – mostly.  What he does to Buffy leading up to the Tento di Cruciamentum (or slayer rite of passage) is despicable and horribly controlling.  He basically hypnotizes her in order to inject her with something that slowly takes away her slayer powers.  And then, he continues to send her out hunting by herself!  I mean, she could have died before the stupid Cruciamentum test!  But that’s missing the point.  He hypnotizes her to put her in a trance where she doesn’t see or feel anything and then drugs her – literally taking away her power.  What?  As a high schooler I didn’t see the full implications of this, but now it’s just awful.  Giles is following ancient orders. This has been done, as Quentin makes clear, to every slayer upon her 18^th birthday – assuming she lives that long in the first place.  (Side note: there is at least one slayer that we hear about who was older – if you are called when you are over 18 does that mean that you are spared this barbaric ritual or is there one for when you turn 30, too?)

• 

  Giles hypnotizes Buffy

• 

  and then drugs her…

Before continuing, I think it’s important to note that this is the first episode in which we meet anyone else from the Council, and more importantly, the first episode in which we meet Quentin Travers, who is the head of the Council.  He actually, and surprisingly, becomes a beloved character in the future.

Quentin Travers played by Harris Yulin

Okay, back to what I was saying before.  Giles is going along with his orders, taking away Buffy’s powers and sending her out to slay, knowing that she is getting weaker and weaker.  When Buffy finally says something to him about it, on the heels of Cordelia having to rescue her (which is actually really funny – don’t mess with Queen C guys), he appears unsympathetic as he plays his part in Buffy’s test.  When Buffy says to him, “I throw knives like a…”, Giles tries to finish her sentence by saying, “girl?”  Luckily for us, Buffy gives him an evil look and finishes her own sentence with, “slayer.”  Giles is certainly from another time, and as such, his perspective is colored by the same sexism that keeps the Council in control.

This whole test that Buffy goes through is a way of controlling slayers, but why and how?  At 18, children become adults, but not so in ancient times.  This is a relatively new concept.  Teenagers are also a relatively new concept. Perhaps, at some point, the Council realized that women are capable of learning and controlling their own lives and this test was a convenient way to get rid of problematic (aka non-controllable) women.  Of course, those who survive, like Buffy, do so because they are resourceful and able to think for themselves, but perhaps it is the rare slayer who survives, which is the whole point.  Or maybe, 18 was convenient for Joss Whedon and he just went with it.  Either way, this story shows that Buffy is now an adult, she is resourceful (remember that time she killed a vamp with a pencil? Even Spike admired this quality in her), and she is better than the Council and will not be controlled.

Giles, who does care for Buffy, eventually does break the rules of this test and goes to try to save Buffy from death.  He is too late as Buffy doesn’t need a man to save her.  However, in doing this, Giles is fired from the Council.  This just isn’t okay as he is clearly a better person than all the other men in the Watchers’ Council, but again, future drama.

A couple casting notes from this episode: Zachary Kralik is the first character that Jeff Kober plays on Buffy.  He will back for multiple episodes in season 6 as a different character.  Also, David Hayden-Jones is one of the men that Quentin brings to help prepare for the test.  He is now a recurring character, Mr. Ketch, on Supernatural where he also uses a very real sounding British accent.  Thanks to DVD commentaries, I now know that he is, in fact, American.

• 

  Jeff Kober as Kralik

• 

• 

  Jeff Kober as Rack (season 6)

• 

  David Hayden-Jones now and then

On another note, before Joyce is kidnapped by Kralik in order to get Buffy to play along, Buffy is wearing a red coat with a hood that makes her look very much like Little Red Riding Hood, which Kralik acknowledges when he sees her wearing it.  In season 4, Buffy will dress up as Little Red Riding Hood for Halloween.

In more episodic connections, Amy the rat is officially Willow’s pet, with a wheel in her cage and everything.  If only Willow knew how to reverse the spell to make Amy a human again.

A fun moment in this episode is a kryptonite conversation between Oz and Xander. This is a true geek conversation, as I had never heard of gold kryptonite before and I had been watching Superman, Superboy, and Supergirl since I was a child and read plenty of comic books. Buffy wouldn’t be Buffy without these geeky moments.

• 

  I was raised on reruns like this classic.

• 

  This show was in syndication when I was young.

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  This movie might be considered bad, but I love it.

And finally, speaking of Xander, while bringing the conversation back to male control… the end of the episode when Xander tries to help weak Buffy out by opening a peanut butter jar and can’t is priceless.  I mean, he means well, but this is such a stereotypical thing for a man to do.  But, of course, on Buffy, women are always the strong ones, and so Xander can’t open it either, and that’s what makes this moment okay.

I feel like a said a whole lot in this blog, and most of it was kind of depressing.  However, it’s important for me to also say that when I first saw this episode, I was unable to even think about many of these things and was able to enjoy this on a much simpler scale.  Because of this blog, sometimes I say a lot, especially as the world continues to change around me.  At its core, this episode is wonderfully dramatic, opens up the Buffyverse, and has wonderful character arcs.  At the end of the day (and this blog), that’s what I want to remember.

“The Wish”

This may very well be my favorite season 3 episode. I think alternate reality episodes/doppelgänger episodes and the like tend to me my favorites across the board. For example, two of my favorite Roswell episodes are “Summer of ‘47,” in which the actors play different characters as a veteran tells Michael about what he saw when the spaceship crashed and the aftermath that followed over the next few days and “I Married an Alien,” which re-imagines Roswell as Bewitched. (There are also some alien doppelgänger episodes, btw.) And let’s not forget the Supernatural episodes “The French Mistake” and “Changing Channels.” The former has the Winchesters sucked into a world where they are actors on a tv show called Supernatural playing themselves, and the latter has them featured as part of other television shows, like a Grey’s Anatomy parody. But the Supernatural sitcom is my favorite. My point is, “The Wish” is right up my alley.

Roswell’s “I Married an Alien”

“Changing Channels” envisions Supernatural as a sticom

This episode is also the first one with Anya, played by Emma Caulfield. I remember seeing her when this episode originally aired and thinking, “oh, that’s Brandon Walsh’s girlfriend.” I wasn’t even allowed to watch Beverly Hills 90210, but I knew that much. Now, as I’m watching that entire series all the way through for the first time, seeing Susan, I think, “it’s Anya!” It’s just kind of funny how things change. It’s also funny seeing Anya as the monster of the week, with no indication that she will return, knowing that she actually becomes a huge part of the show.

Emma Caulfield

Meet Anya

Beverly Hills 90210

Jonathan’s back in this episode as well. And it’s scenes like this that explain his entire trajectory as we get closer and closer to “Earshot.” Poor Cordelia, I honestly don’t know if I feel worse for her or for Jonathan. She found out her boyfriend was cheating on her, got impaled, gets back to school and finds that vapid Harmony is now the queen b (despite Cordy’s “Queen C” license plate), and then Harmony, who is supposed to be her friend is just totally mean and uses Jonathan to show Cordelia how far she’s fallen in the eyes of Harmony and the popular girls. It’s like that time in middle school where a boy made fun of me for wearing sweatpants out in public (clearly, I was ahead of my time) by comparing me to an uncool boy who also wore sweatpants. The mean boy was making fun of me and this other kid, but using the other kid to show me how uncool I was. I think I won in the end though. The other “uncool” kid and I became friends in high school and ended up going to prom together. But this blog isn’t about me… sigh.

And of course, while Cordelia’s having a rough go of it, so are Buffy, Willow, and Xander. When Buffy’s asked how she makes it through after heartache she says, “I have you guys.” Buffy is wise and this friendship triangle (or triumvirate?) is very strong. We also see how Oz is dealing with everything. Or rather, we see another example of what a great guy he is. He’s heartbroken as well and is mad at Willow and Xander, but when confronted by Willow he’s still really nice. I mean he tells her the truth, but he could be a jerk about it, and he just isn’t. Which considering everything that happened is really big of him.

This episode isn’t about any of them, though. It’s about Cordelia and what she’s going through. And that is how we get the wish dimension. Anya is new, popular, and the only one that isn’t judging Cordelia. So, of course, Cordelia opens up to her, not realizing that Anya is actually a demon that’s pretty much targeted Cordelia. As we find out later, Anya specializes in spurned women. (Side note: isn’t it interesting that Anya ends up with Xander, who is the reason that Cordelia is vulnerable to Anya in the first place?)

So Cordelia wishes that Buffy never came to Sunnydale and then she is magically transported to a Buffy-less Sunnydale, completely unaware of how bad things are about to get.

Now at this point we need to talk about the events from the very first episode of Buffy. Yes, let’s go back to “Welcome to the Hellmouth” and “The Harvest.” In those episodes Willow and Jesse get taken by vampires. They are to be brought to the Master. Xander ends up going after Willow, solely because of Buffy. We know that Jesse became a vampire and that Xander ended up killing him, but without Buffy he would not have been turned into a vampire at all (he was Buffy bait), and so we can assume that Willow would not have been either. Now, if Willow had been turned, it is entirely possible that she would have turned Xander, but I think, realistically, Willow, along with Jesse, would have just been brought to the Master and killed.

When the Harvest starts at the Bronze, Cordelia is the person chosen by Luke to die first. Meaning that, technically, Cordelia would be dead in this world. However, since this world exists because of her wish, I suppose things would have been altered just enough for her to have survived. And I guess if I really take the time to think about it, she ended up on Luke’s radar because Jesse was dancing with her. Vampire Jesse, who would have just been killed if not for Buffy. So maybe she would have somehow survived the Harvest.

That being said, considering that this wish world is based pretty much entirely on a what if scenario from the first two episodes, it’s a shame that neither Jesse (Eric Balfour) nor Darla (Julie Benz) was in this episode. Oh well. One person that is in this episode that we haven’t seen since the beginning is Cordelia’s friend who was also in Bring it On, Nicole Bilderback. She dies pretty early on though…

Eric Balfour as Jesse

Julie Benz as Darla

unaired pilot

Nicole Bilderback as background Cordette

and in Bring it On

Okay, one other thing, and this isn’t an early BtVS history lesson – Vamp Willow is affected by crosses. She’s Jewish. Why would a cross affect her? Are you telling me that Jesus is the only figure that vampires would be afraid of? I think not! This is where I once again talk about how at least on Being Human, both the British and American versions, the writers understood that a Star of David (or another non-Christian religious symbol) can be just as effective. That just bugs me, I’m sorry. Moving on.

Speaking of Vamp Willow… she’s pretty awesome, right? I mean, she does get brought back this season, so obviously Alyson Hannigan did a good job being a completely different version of Willow. And kudos to Marti Noxon for writing the character in the first place. I love when she says, “Bored now.” I sometimes say that in life. Of course, she also says, “Willow’s going to make you bark” to Angel, which is just… ew! The whole Angel part of the wish world is weird. And Willow and Xander’s, um, fondness for playing with him is just, ew!

I don’t know off the top of my head when Charlaine Harris’s first Sookie Stackhouse novel was published, but the Master’s plan in this episode is very True Blood, don’t you think? Obviously, I had never heard of Sookie Stackhouse when this episode first aired (and I doubt that the first book had been published yet), but it is quite the coincidence. RIP first victim Cordette, as played by Nicole Bilderback…

Alright, also in this world are the White Hats, run by Giles. Oz is a member, as well as Larry (yes, Larry! – this is the first time we truly see him as a good guy). Nancy is also a member – I can’t recall if she appears in the real world at all though. These are the vampire fighting people and Cordelia gets their attention when she runs to Giles looking for Buffy (and also because she’s wearing a bright color – apparently you don’t want to call attention to yourself, even in bright daylight). The fact that she knows about Buffy is the thing that ultimately saves the world and brings everything back to normal, but she just seems crazy to everyone other than Giles. Sadly, the White Hats aren’t as effective as a slayer and Cordelia is killed by Willow and Xander together, right in front of Giles. Geez, even in this world Cordelia has to deal with the two of them being together – as they are killing her.

The White Hats

By the way – why do people still live in Sunnydale in this world? If you know you have to wear all dull earth tones in order to not be spotted and be inside by a certain time of night or be eaten, wouldn’t you move? Yet Sunnydale High is functioning normally and there are still plenty of people living there. Are the adults in Sunnydale really that stupid? Or lazy? I just don’t get it, but if no one lived there then this episode would be over pretty quickly so I will let it go.

Alright, so Cordelia is dead, but Giles is trying to track down Buffy, who finally arrives in Sunnydale and makes quite the entrance. Because, you know, when does Buffy not make an entrance? She is scarred and clearly not the same person, but she does go to fight the Master. Then just about everyone dies. We see Buffy beating up Vamp Xander, he in turn stakes Angel, then Buffy stakes Xander. Willow, in the meantime, is staked by Oz and then the Master kills Buffy. As far as we know Oz lives, but if this world were to continue, I’m not so sure that he’d be around much longer.

Giles, while all this is happening, summons Anyanka (Anya’s full demon name) and figures out how to get things back to how they were meant to be. This then leads to a great ending as Cordelia cluelessly drones on to Anya about all the things she wishes, while Anya tries to figure out why she is unable to grant any of those wishes. And that’s that… until “Dopplegängland.” Dun dun dun!

“Lovers Walk”

This is the one season 3 episode with Spike, which means there is lots of comedy along with the usual brand of heartbreak. Just to recap all that said heartbreak we have 1) Buffy and Angel trying to stay away from each other and only marginally succeeding, with Giles, Xander, and Cordelia unhappy about Angel being back, then there’s 2) Willow and Xander having secret make-out sessions despite dating Oz and Cordelia, respectively, and of course 3) Faith and Buffy are now somewhat estranged thanks to Gwendolyn Post (although that really has nothing to do with this particular episode). Basically, there are a lot of unhappy people around Sunnydale these days.  Now throw Spike into that mix, and well, I think you see where I’m going with this…  

It’s worth mentioning that Spike enters Sunnydale the same way he did in his first episode, only drunker, as he knocks down the “Welcome to Sunnydale” sign. Spike, as it turns out, is also heartbroken as Drusilla dumped him after he chose Buffy over Angelus at the end of last season. And so, naturally, he’s returned to the scene of the crime.  

I feel like, as an adult watching this show, I like Xander less than I did as a teenager.  Not to say I don’t like him, but I certainly recognize his negative traits more now than I did then.  Of course, not only have I grown up since this show originally aired, but the world itself has grown up, especially in the wake of the #MeToo movement and Time’s Up.  Having said that, I am actually really happy that Xander shows some maturity in this episode.  Sure, he and Willow are still sneaking around and I hate that – a lot.  Even more than I did when I was a teenager, but when Willow attempts to do a de-lusting spell to help them out, Xander is the one who tells her it’s a bad idea (ooh, foreshadowing to season 6).  He even sites the events of “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered” showing that he learns from his mistakes and that this show has a memory.  That memory is a lot more common on tv now than it was in the 90s, making this that much more impressive. And so, I have to give props to Xander here. 

Also, despite how upset their affair makes me, the fact that Willow and Xander are making out after Spike locks them in a room together and they think they are going to die is still forgivable to me.  The only thing I wonder is, why did they not consider the fact that people would be looking for them?  I get it, you think you’re going to die, so why not give in to temptation?  But, a) by being kidnapped right before a double date means that Oz and Cordelia are going to know something bad has happened and b) your best friend is the Slayer.  Do you really think Buffy wouldn’t be able to find you?  And I’m sure both Willow and Xander know that it will take more than 48 hours for them to starve to death, right? At least Willow knows that, I’m sure.  But of course, when being kidnapped by a drunk and psychotic vampire, I’m guessing that you’re not exactly thinking everything through.  So I forgive them for this particular discretion. 

And of course, Oz and Cordy catch them in the act.  But again, should Oz and Cordy have reacted so badly right away? Don’t they realize that dire circumstances lead to these sorts of reactions? It’s kind of a double standard though, because anyone, and especially teenagers, upon finding their girlfriend/boyfriend making-out with someone else isn’t going to stop to think about why they are doing this.  And, as it turns out, this wasn’t a one-time thing, which seems to come to light (offscreen) pretty quickly.  And for Oz, at least, he knew that there were feelings involved between these two.  So for him, although upsetting, he probably wasn’t as surprised as Cordelia was.  And poor Cordelia, getting impaled.  But we’ll talk more about her in the next episode. 

Before I start talking about Buffy I just want to mention that Spike and Willow together are quite amusing. It gives me a reason to look forward to season 4 when they have their impotence conversation! 

Okay, so Buffy. And Angel.  And Spike. Yep, pretty hilarious.  Buffy and Angel are forced to help Spike out in his misguided quest to use Willow to perform a love spell to win Drusilla back.  

In the midst of all this, Spike goes to talk to Joyce.  They are pretty friendly and Joyce is really nice to him.  Of course, she mainly knows Spike from him helping Buffy out in “Becoming” last year, so she doesn’t see any harm in being friendly.  Angel on the other hand… well Joyce doesn’t know that he’s back, or that he’s good, so when he shows up to try to save Joyce from Spike, hilarity ensues.  I mean, could Spike be any funnier behind Joyce, pretending to bite her while Angel can’t do anything about it because he hasn’t been invited inside (I don’t know why this episode is causing me to write long run on sentences, but go with it). Her shock when Buffy finally invites him in is funny, too. These moments make the show. 

Spike, taunting Angel

Now in the midst of the Buffy-Angel-Spike team up Spike is able to observe Buffy and Angel. And he has some words of advice: He tells them that they’re not just friends and then says, “I may be love’s bitch, but at least I’m man enough to admit it.” They don’t want to hear it, but Spike’s right. These two can’t be just friends.  And with that, Spike feels better about himself and realizes that he doesn’t need a spell to win Drusilla back and leaves town. 

In his wake Spike leaves a bunch of heartbroken single people. Buffy and Angel realize they have to pull back, Oz and Willow are no longer together, nor are Xander and Cordelia. Everyone is back to being single and miserable.  And that is a Joss Whedon specialty, right there. 

“Band Candy”

Every time I hear KISS on the radio I can’t help but think to myself, “Kiss rocks?  Who’d want to kiss… oh wait, I get it.”  While I think I would have understood that graffiti a little quicker than Willow, I can’t help but be amused by her confusion time and again.

But that hardly has anything to do with this episode does it?  This episode brings back Ethan Rayne and brings Buffy’s parental figures together in more ways than one.

He’s baaack!

The episode starts off with Buffy using her mom and Giles to get out of things that Giles and her mom want her to do in order to secretly see Angel.  And they find out.  Then, once the cursed band candy comes into play, Giles and Joyce’s scheduling session turns into something a little less parental and a lot sexier.  And against the backdrop of adults acting like children, Buffy is trying to prove that she is mature and should be able to plan her own life and drive.  And then things flip-flop and she actually has to be the adult.

Before the band candy curse takes full effect things are strange in Sunnydale, and once you know what’s about to happen (you know, if you’ve already seen the episode) it’s so obvious that the adults are becoming immature.  Like when Giles doesn’t show up for study hall.  Obviously he’s playing hooky and his substitute, Ms. Barton, is less than her usual schoolmarm self.

Of course, this episode isn’t just about the adults acting immature.  Really it’s about every one having to deal with their own levels of maturity.  I mean look at Xander and Willow.  They are immaturely cheating on their significant others.  They know it’s wrong, yet they keep doing it.  Sure, one could argue that mature adults do this all the time.  I would argue that when they do they are being immature if they continue to keep it a secret.  At least for now the worst they are doing is playing footsies under the table…with Cordelia sitting right in front of them.  Not cool guys, not cool.  Couldn’t they have just not sat next to each other?  I mean, it’s weird that Buffy and Cordelia are sitting next to each other, right?  I mean, yes, they bonded in the last episode, but don’t boyfriends and girlfriends want to sit next to each other in study hall?

I think that watching this particular storyline in high school did not make me as upset.  Maybe it’s because I know what’s coming, or maybe it’s because I’m more mature now.  Either way, the prospect of Xander and Willow together is not nearly as exciting to me as it once was, making the cheating ickier than I remember it being when the show was on the WB.  I’m finding it quite upsetting now.

Also upsetting?  Adults acting like rowdy teenagers (exhibit A: Louie, Louie).  Because they still know that they are adults who have control over their own lives, except that now their hormones and lack of brain development is leading them to do things that no adults should do in public.  Or, in the case of “Snyder,” trying to fit in with the cool kids even though you are the exact opposite of cool.  It’s actually quite sad to think about how Principal Snyder’s teenage years led him to where he is now.  He is miserable and hates kids.  Clearly he was mistreated by his peers growing up and severely bullied to the point of needing to become one.  At least Buffy is kind of nice to him.  He is still the principal I guess.  It’s comic relief, but also just very sad.

Of course the flip side to uncool Snyder is “teenage” Joyce trying to fit in with the extremely cool Ripper version of Giles.  He doesn’t care and so she does her best to pretend that she doesn’t either.  Together they rob a store and then have sex on a police car.  In public.  Outside, where anyone could see them.  What does this say about actual teenage Joyce?  I mean, most teenagers would not have sex on top of a police car in the middle of the street.  Or did I just miss all the fun during my teenage years?

Joyce and Giles are actually great together.  He is very sweet to her and defends her from both Buffy and Ethan.   Clearly there are some real feelings mixed in with the curse, but sadly, these two will never have more than this one night together.  It’s also pretty fun to see their shame later in the episode.  And then again in “Earshot.”  It also comes up again in “The Body,” but we don’t have to talk about that now.

One last thing.  Why is Joyce into Juice Newton?  She is too old to have been a fan of Juice Newton as a teenager.  That would be like me turning into a teenager and wanting to be just like Taylor Swift, although, Taylor Swift is current and in 1998 Juice Newton was not, so there is probably a better example that I could have used if only I could have thought of one… either way.

This episode works on so many levels, brings back a fan favorite, and makes all of us laugh.  Looking at it a little deeper adds more layers to the story for sure, but the big take away is that Joyce and Giles finally consummated their parental relationship and we will always have that.  Yeah, yeah, there’s a big take away in Buffy’s arc, too, but which do you remember more?  Buffy’s plot or the Joyce/Giles plot? I rest my case.

“Dead Man’s Party”

So this episode… while I haven’t yet reached “Beer Bad” in this Buffy marathon of mine, I may have found my least favorite episode. I was actually dreading watching this one – and then stopped halfway through and took a couple of days off before coming back to it (which is a huge no-no in my book, especially as far as Buffy’s concerned).

So what’s wrong with this episode? I guess part of it is that the whole episode deals with consequences and the show just isn’t back to it’s normal self yet. I mean, yes, Buffy did leave and that does have to be dealt with, but this episode is just upsetting. I mean, everyone spends the whole first episode back (in “Anne”) wishing Buffy were back and then when she is they all avoid her. Her mom avoids her, Giles avoids her. Worst of all – Willow avoids her. What? No. Why? And the metaphor is in your face: “You can’t just bury stuff Buffy, it’ll come right back up to get you.” Thanks Xander for spelling that out for us.

The other thing that I really don’t like about this episode: zombies. That’s right, I am not a fan of zombies. Period. (With the one exception of iZombie, but that has more to do with Rob Thomas and my love of Veronica Mars.) I just don’t get the appeal of zombies. Of note: Giles says that zombies don’t eat brains, yet in a later episode (or maybe an episode of Angel?) someone specifically says that zombies do eat brains. BtVS doesn’t usually contradict itself, and this always upset me. I remember thinking how cool it was that Joss Whedon & company were changing the standardized mythology yet again… only to be disappointed a few years later.

There are some fun moments in this episode. During the party planning scene we get Oz’s thoughts on party types. You have gatherings, shindigs, and hootenannies. Each party type comes with its own type of cheese. You also have Cordelia proclaiming, “I’m the dip.” Oh Cordy. Of course she meant that she is bringing the dip, but it’s a classic moment. Jonathan’s back in this episode. I’m sorry I keep pointing him out, but my obsessive need for it will become clear by the end of this season. My other fun moment to spotlight for you all is when Giles hot-wires a car. Yes, we now know all about his Ripper past, but I still didn’t expect Giles of all people to be able to hot-wire a car.

Jonathan at Buffy’s house eating a chip.

Speaking of Giles, it is quite interesting that his placement as school librarian is more about his being a Watcher than about being a teacher, yet he is a much better teacher than Principal Snyder who is presumably principal (and by default, teacher) first, and then town conspirator second. In his trying to keep Buffy out of school he is in clear violation of her rights as a teenager and student. Giles on the other hand, knows student rights and uses this knowledge to threaten Snyder into letting Buffy back in. After all, the district might not care what you do, but the state, and certainly the country would.

The last thing worth mentioning about this episode is courtesy of Joyce. She thinks that Buffy should just tell people that she’s a superhero. Now I know that I keep making this point, but I will make it again. According to an episode in season 6, Buffy’s parents put her into a sanitarium when she told them about her extra-curricular slaying activities. Joyce knows that the world won’t believe Buffy, so why would she suggest this? Of course, I know that the writers haven’t come up with this back story yet, but that doesn’t mean I can’t mention it. Also, aren’t there laws against vigilantism? I mean, even if the vigilante is only hurting/killing monsters? If Buffy were a superhero, what would her costume look like?

Okay, glad this episode is over. Now I’m really ready to delve into season 3.

“Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered”

I sang this song when I took voice lessons in high school. That’s right – it’s not just a cute episode title, it’s also a song!

Anyway… Amy is back and is – surprise! – a witch. Just like her mother. Who was evil. It turns out that Amy isn’t evil (well, not yet), just using magic to get out of things like homework. She clearly hasn’t mastered the craft yet, as we find out when she helps (er, is blackmailed into helping) Xander with a love spell. By the way, do love spells ever turn out for the best?

From “The Witch”

Season 2

This episode is very funny, but also really heartbreaking. You have Buffy still dealing with the whole Angelus thing. And he sends her creepy messages on Valentine’s Day. You have Angelus getting in between Spike and Drusilla. And then you have Cordelia feeling like she has to break up with Xander, leaving them both somewhat heartbroken. And then, as if that’s not enough, throw Ms. Calendar in the mix and have the love spell mess with Willow’s real feelings for Xander. Yeeesh. This episode clearly focuses on Xander and Cordelia, but all of Sunnydale is feeling the heartbreak in this one.   Thankfully, Willow gets a cute non-heartbreak moment at the beginning of the episode when she gleefully tells Amy that her boyfriend’s in the band playing at the Bronze.

Before focusing on the Xan Man and Cordy I want to check in on our villains for a moment. The rivalry between Angelus and Spike has been turned up a notch. Spike is sick of Angelus’ antics when it comes to Buffy, and on top of that, he and Dru are constantly flirting. You know, in a sexy, seems like they’re getting it on, kind of way. Clearly, before his soul, Angelus was not a great guy. However, through all of this we see yet another glimpse at Spike’s human side, making him somewhat unique in the Buffyverse. Not to say that Spike’s a great guy either, but at least he’s not a dick. We also get a glimpse at Spike’s poetry, which is only funny in retrospect. He makes up a sarcastic poem for Angelus to give Buffy. It’s not meant to be good, but before becoming a vampire, Spike was already known as William the Bloody. Why? Unlike the Gorch brothers from “Bad Eggs” he wasn’t going around killing people, making him a human monster. Oh no, he wrote “bloody bad” poetry. This made me chuckle.

To Angelus’s credit, he does finally decide to kill Buffy in this episode, but has no idea that Buffy’s a rat wandering around the school, or that Xander would be hiding in her bedroom. (By the way, Buffy was turned into a rat to free SMG up to be on Saturday Night Live.) That’s okay, Angelus is fine killing her friends instead. Of course, the one good thing about the love spell that makes every single woman in Sunnydale (except for Cordelia) fall in love with Xander is that he is rescued, first by Drusilla, and then by a horde of love-struck women.  Only good thing.  And Dru saving him still wasn’t great because she wanted to turn him. Hence the horde of women – who were violently trying to kill him for toying with their emotions, plus the whole if-I-can’t-have-him-no-one-can thing. So, yeah, love spells are not a good thing here.

Dru protects Xander from Angelus

angry mob featuring Willow and Jenny

However, it does bring Xander and Cordelia back together. So let’s take a deeper look at their relationship. First, they sneak around because they are ashamed of their attraction to each other. Then Xander’s friends find out, so they decide to date openly and Cordelia hasn’t been seen hanging out with her own friends in a really long time. Then Harmony comes back and has become the new Queen Bee, making Cordelia feel less than for dating Xander, who is a loser by popular girl standards. Meanwhile, Xander is stressing out about the perfect gift to get Cordelia for Valentine’s Day and he picks a really nice heart-shaped necklace. Cordelia, not knowing this, decides to dump Xander. She does it publicly, at the Bronze, on Valentine’s Day, right after getting (and keeping) Xander’s gift. Albeit, she does admit that the necklace makes it harder. So she doesn’t really want to dump him, but is peer-pressured into it in order to keep her status and her “friends.”

The next day at school, neither of them is happy. Cordelia still hasn’t regained her Queen Bee status and Xander is being pitied and mocked by everyone at school.   Cordelia is wearing the necklace Xander got from her and looks pained at the way Xander’s being treated, but doesn’t do anything about it, because, again, peer pressure.

So when Xander casts the spell, it is meant to be a revenge spell. He wants Cordelia to take him back so that he can dump her. He uses the necklace, which he demands back, to cast the spell, but the necklace ends up shielding her from the spell instead. The next day, Harmony and all of the popular girls are mad at Cordelia for dumping Xander. Cordelia finally starts to realize that you shouldn’t do things just because you’re friends tell you to. Xander still doesn’t get what he wants and the two end up trapped together while the entire female population of Sunnydale tries to kill them. Finally, Xander admits that he cast a love spell on Cordy, but that it didn’t work. Cordy is impressed that he tried to get her to love him again, and boom, just like that things are going to be okay with these two.

When the spell’s over, Cordelia basically tells her friends to f@!* off and stop being sheep before getting back together with Xander. Cordelia has learned a valuable lesson here about peer pressure, but has Xander learned anything? No. Not really. He still ends up with Cordelia and should be learning the ultimate lesson in wish-fulfillment. The only problem is, the next time wish fulfillment rears its ugly head (I mean, Anya’s pretty, don’t get me wrong…) Xander isn’t the one targeted. So he doesn’t have to learn this lesson.

This episode is great. It’s funny, it moves plot along for all characters in some way. Yet, is it okay for a teenage boy to play with the emotions of so many people and come away unscathed? If it weren’t magic – if Xander were a player, we would hate him. So why is he able to escape without learning a lesson? Or maybe I’ve been watching the episode all wrong. It was never about Xander. It was about Cordelia accepting herself and not caring what her friends think.  With that framework in mind, this is definitely an easier pill to swallow.